|Reconnecting with our inner child and this pure voice that we have had hidden for so long is step one of becoming authentic. And no, it’s not easy. It’s a process that requires a lot of strength and courage. It’s shadow work! But once we do it, we can experience the most amazing freedom in the world. I promise you, there is nothing like it.|
|My dear, |
Last week In our LOUD Incubator, a mastermind group that is part of my LOUD Women Nation membership, I taught the women how to reconnect with their inner child so that they can rediscover their truth.
You see, our pure selves are still intact within our inner child. Everything that we are, sometimes dormant and sometimes very strong, is within us. It really depends on how we have lived our lives and how our environment has either kept us connected to our truth or disconnected us from it with expectations, stereotypes, and judgments.
The reason why I believe it’s super important to reconnect with our inner child and why It was the first part of our class is that it’s where our true selves lie – our true needs, wants, and who we really are. What I realized is that some women in my program, when they connect to their inner child through our exercise, could totally feel their inner child and remember what was so important for them, almost like they were there once more. But some women had a very hard time remembering because they were raised in environments that caused them a lot of pain from a very early age, and they were forced to “grow up” or put on a mask with survival patterns to survive their environment.
Connecting with our inner child is probably one of the most critical steps in the path of our authenticity, and here is why:
As we grow up, outside expectations, family judgments, societal labels, and stereotypes will force us to change, tame, or shrink our personality so that we can fulfill our human need for connection and belonging. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of emotional education in our schools (yet) and probably our parents were not taught to honor themselves either. So, the only way they knew how to love us was to teach us how to “change – to be accepted.”
But what many of us don’t know is that that change is very painful. It’s like cutting a piece of who we are from our body, an arm, a leg. That change will force us to hide our real selves, to lock it up in a box, and pretend to be someone we are not, just so we can “survive.”
And I know what you might be thinking: “survive?? I never had any situation where I felt I was going to die!! Survive is a big word”… YES I say “survive” because for a child, to feel not accepted, not loved for who they are or rejected, is a near-death experience, just as if someone was putting a gun to your head today.
This is trauma.
Trauma will make us change who we are for the “character” that we must be to be accepted and feel safe. As time passes by, as we become adults, we build on top of this character our life, and the decisions we make are based on this character, not on what we want. We build a life that serves this character’s “agenda”… and all to survive.
I have been working in personal development for over ten years now, and one of the things that I find fascinating is how we will do anything to protect this inauthentic life, this character. We will fight for it, convince ourselves that this is who we are and this is what we want.
But in the background, our true voice is still calling us, asking us to see her, to save her. We might pretend that we don’t see this true voice, but it might manifest in anxiety, fears, self-sabotage, physical illnesses, depression – you name it.
So, reconnecting with our inner child and this pure voice that we have had hidden for so long is step one of becoming authentic. And no, it’s not easy. It’s a process that requires a lot of strength and courage. It’s shadow work! But once we do it, we can experience the most amazing freedom in the world. I promise you, there is nothing like it.
I know this too well.
I experienced it myself.
When I started my singing career, I was convinced that it was my life’s purpose. I had devoted my childhood and adolescent years to pursuing this dream, sacrificing my social life and other aspirations. However, in retrospect, I realize that what I truly wanted was acceptance and validation.
As a child, I was bullied at school relentlessly for years. To survive, I created a strategy
that allowed me to feel safe while I was going through the bullying years: I became
the teacher’s pet and sought out authority figures to avoid rejection.
Now I realize that becoming a famous singer seemed like the perfect way to gain power and make everyone like me. In my subconscious, I believed that as long as I was famous and powerful, no one could hurt me, and I would be loved by everyone.
But at that time, I didn’t realize the price I was paying for this. I was only expressing a small fractionof my true self, while silencing the rest. It was an excruciatingly painful way
The day I released my first album and became a #1 billboard artist, I thought I had
achieved my dream. Yet, I still felt empty, afraid, and small. Through my
healing process I realized that I had built a life that protected the “character”
I had created to shield myself from rejection and bullying. My true self knew
then that I needed to break free from this and rediscover who I truly was.
That’s when everything fell apart!
It was during this process that I reconnected with my inner child and discovered other
beautiful gifts that my voice was yearning to share. These were parts of me
that I had silenced and hidden away for years. And this rediscovery led me to
develop my LOUD method, which has helped thousands of people heal, change their
lives, cure their cancer, save their marriage, find their purpose, Etc.
Imagine if I had never allowed myself to break free from the life of inauthenticity that I
had created. Imagine all the people I would not have been able to help. It was
a painful journey, but it was necessary for me to rediscover my true self and
my true voice.
So, my message to you today is this: Remember who you are. Remember your voice. Heal
your wounds, break your silence, and be LOUD! Your voice is needed, and it
contains faith. It is here to serve. You are needed, and I promise you, the
world is waiting for you.