LoudWomen Nation

It was the point of NO Return

My body was slowly dying because I was not being authentic.
I was disconnected from my true self, voice, and core of energy.
Reconnecting with my voice was a necessity to life!
It was the core of life.
One night, I woke up in terror, drenched in sweat, with a knowing that I was dying. I had no idea if it was a sickness, heart attack, or an intuition that something terrible was going to happen. The feeling was so strong that it was undeniable. It was the point of no return for me.
 
I got out of bed, knelt down, and prayed to God to let me live to see my daughter grow up. I begged Him to show me why I was feeling this way. I was miserable, and my body was screaming at me to stop.
I had everything I ever wanted, yet I was unhappy. Why was I dying?
 
The answer eluded me, but I knew that if I didn’t change something, I would die. I prayed for a sign from God to show me what I needed to do to survive. And the sign came within the first four hours of the next day.
 
I was walking on the beach, looking out at the ocean, when something powerful happened inside me. I realized that I wasn’t in love with my husband. I had been living on autopilot, disconnected from my feelings, wants, desires, and joy. I was passing through life, not living it.
My lack of vitality was killing me, and every decision I made was for others, not for me.
 
I was living a life that served an agenda I created long ago to feel needed, supported, and loved. But 11 years later, my heart said enough. Living in denial is a powerful mechanism of protection, and I had been living in denial for years because I was too afraid to see what I really wanted. I built my life based on the role I took when I was a teenager, after my suicide attempt. I met my husband, decided to survive, and built a family, a career, and external circumstances that would become proof of my worthiness and my permission to be here. I forgot to love myself and decided to build monuments and proof of that love outside of myself, forgetting to listen to my own voice.
 
After the truth bomb hit me, I ran to see my best friend, who asked me a powerful question that changed my life. She asked me to rate my level of authenticity from 1 to 10 with my family, husband, daughter, business, community, and clients. I thought it was a stupid question because I believed I was doing everything to be happy. But as I tried to fill out the list, I realized I didn’t know what authenticity truly meant. It was then that I realized that my prayer the morning before was being answered.
 
My body was slowly dying because I was not being authentic.
I was disconnected from my true self, voice, and core of energy.
Reconnecting with my voice was a necessity to life!
It was the core of life.

 
When we build a life based on inauthenticity, we disconnect our body from the vibration of life, shield it with fear, pain, shame, guilt, etc. Our bodies will vibrate low, and our whole system will suffer. Emotionally, mentally, and physically, we will perish. Building a life based on someone we are not can be very detrimental to our lives.
 
Today, I want to invite you to create your own checklist! Give yourself this gift. HOW AUTHENTIC ARE YOU??
 
Creating an authenticity checklist can be a powerful tool in identifying areas of our lives where we may not be fully expressing our true selves. Start by making a list of all the areas in your life where you feel you may be hiding your truth or not fully expressing yourself. This could include relationships with family, friends, romantic partners, or colleagues, as well as situations at work, in social settings, or even in your own personal hobbies and interests.
 
Once you have identified these areas, ask yourself some important questions.
-Am I showing up authentically in these situations, or am I putting on a facade to please others or fit in?
-Am I expressing my true feelings, beliefs, and values, or am I holding back out of fear of judgment or rejection?
-Am I living a life that is aligned with my authentic self, or am I sacrificing my true desires and aspirations to meet the expectations of others?

 
By answering these questions honestly, you can begin to uncover the areas of your life where you may be disconnected from your truth. From there, you can start taking small steps to bring more authenticity into your life.
 
 Remember, living authentically is a journey, and it takes courage to break free from the expectations of others and embrace your true self. But in doing so, you can unlock a greater sense of fulfillment, joy, and connection in all areas of your life.
 
Being authentic is an act of self-love, breaking our silence and allowing our voices to be LOUD.
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